Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
