what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Hippo gnu deer
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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