You're completely useless in the revolution.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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