Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
