just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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