And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
