Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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