we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
