So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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