theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
