Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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