just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
