His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
