My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
