Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I wish there were birth control emojis
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The uberlube is also flammable
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
