I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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