It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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