I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
