I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
