where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
it was like eating out sand paper
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
