All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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