apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
