who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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