i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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