I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
