It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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