Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
