You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
