This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize