i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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