Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
