He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
