last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
