Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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