i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
