You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
