Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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