I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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