Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
did i just pee glitter
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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