508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
now i know why i became what i already was.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Randomize
