its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Dick very happy bro
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
