She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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