i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
