omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
