Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
