So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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