we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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