Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
