It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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