you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
