If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
