if you like me you must not know who I am
I hate all girls vehemently.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Found the puke drawer
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
