how can u be prego again
This girl is more easily done than said...
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
