i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
