Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
