Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
