Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
