OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
