so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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