btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
