Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
