Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
