Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
