Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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