We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i just had sex bonerless
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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