well I can't set my house on fire every night
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
she pinky promised me she was 18
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
