Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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